Everyone has to deal with some toxic people every now and then. These situations occur particularly often in private life when you get to know new people, but unfortunately also in your job when you meet new colleagues, superiors, customers or even suppliers. An important question is how you deal with these people. Are they negatively affecting your performance in the workplace or may even your personal well-being suffer? If so, the second question often arises: What are you doing wrong, that you are repeatedly confronted with toxic people? The answer: nothing at all! In fact, you are probably doing some things right. We show how you can recognize toxic people.
What exactly are toxic people?
When it comes to toxic people, everyone probably immediately has a certain person in mind, a colleague who comes to mind spontaneously or an acquaintance whose image unconsciously pops up at the thought. We are good at recognizing toxic people – of course also because dealing with them can be so uncomfortable and difficult. These contemporaries seem to stumble upon the fact that every encounter with them is neither fun nor joy.
But as good as we are at recognizing toxic people, it is often difficult to describe exactly what is hidden behind this trait. One of the reasons for this is that there is no clear and concise definition of the term toxic human. But what there is in abundance are typical traits and behaviors that characterize them:
They are dishonest
Whether lying or deliberate manipulation: A toxic person is okay with any means to achieve his own goals, to enforce opinions or to gain an advantage. As long as it serves its own purposes, toxic people take advantage of the trust placed in them, distort the truth or simply leave out important information.
A special – and particularly perfidious – type of toxic people are schemers, gossipers, and rumors who try to damage someone else’s reputation. Here the image is deliberately dragged through the dirt to emphasize one’s own status or to assert itself.
They cross borders
Toxic people often do not care whether they are allowed to do something or whether others think their behavior is right or wrong – they just do it, even at the risk of harming others. A classic example is not being able to accept a no as such. Instead, people keep going and pushing ahead.
In doing so, they often do not even notice what situation they are putting their counterpart in, and toxic people do not know excuses. They always see themselves in the right with their behavior and do not allow themselves to be dissuaded from this opinion by discussions or facts.
Do not want a solution at all
Once they have set their minds on something, toxic people can no longer give up. On the positive side, you could say that you are persistent and assertive, but in fact you just are simply unable to compromise. The point is not at all to find a common solution, but to insist on your own point of view.
Nor should empathy be expected. Toxic people are not interested in the opinions or feelings of their interlocutors and are not really interested in an exchange. They just want the attention and in the end, the approval of others.
They only think of themselves
Selfishness is almost an understatement. Toxic people are not the sun, around which everything has to revolve, but rather see themselves as the only star in the entire universe. If you do have to deal with others, you feel like you are miles ahead and let others feel it too.
They give the impression that they are not good enough in any area and undermine the self-confidence of their contacts. Anyone who dares to contradict must be prepared to be confronted not only with arguments, but also insults or slander, so that the inviolable self-image does not falter.
Poison the environment
One toxic person is enough to turn the atmosphere into a disaster in a whole group. They try to play off everyone present against one another, push themselves to the fore, cause arguments and force differences of opinion. Situations that are normally expected
Put pressure on others
Another popular means is the pressure of expectation. Every mistake is addressed long and broadly, taken up again and again and put into focus, while positive developments or good performances are swept under the carpet. Additionally, they always expect things to go the way they imagined.
Those who do not want to get involved are put under further pressure – often through feelings of guilt. Even a small sentence like “You let me down like that, I would not have expected from you, can be enough to evoke a guilty conscience and manipulate behavior.
How to deal with difficult people in your life?
Do you want to get rid of difficult people? Then the following tips will help you.
On the one hand, it is about dealing with yourself in order to identify how you allow yourself to be manipulated by toxic people or how energy is robbed of you. On the other hand, it is important to take a clear position and to know your limits.
“It’s amazing how quickly things can turn around when you remove toxic people from your life.” — Robert Tew
1. What makes you vulnerable to toxic people?
This point is very important.
Know what makes you vulnerable to toxic people .
This is the only way you will find a way to resolve this pattern.
Find out what the patterns are emerging between you and the toxic person that you are emotionally involved in.
Keep the journal what happened between you and the toxic person.
Find out what facts are and what are your emotions and reactions. This will give you more clarity about why they have managed to get your attention so far.
2. Act instead of reacting
Toxic people thrive on your emotional response.
So don’t let yourself be provoked!
Have you been attacked, gunned down or betrayed?
Take a deep breath and calm down.
Precisely because this people wait for your backlash, you are predictable and make yourself the pawn of their manipulative game.
The best thing you can do is withdraw your attention and focus on yourself and your goals.
3. No arguing, justifying, or persuading
This point also relates to the previous one: Do not try to convince a toxic person of your opinion, even if you mean well with them.
No, don’t add fuel to the fire and stop justifying or arguing to be right.
Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right? Only one of the two works here.
4. Know and set your limits
Once you understand how to react to toxic people , you can avoid situations with toxic people or end them in one sentence.
Always talk about facts and don’t rely on your feelings.
Say what you want and what the consequences will be if he or she pushes your limits.
Take control of the situation instead of giving it away.
It is very important that you are consistent and stick to your words.
They know exactly how to soothe you. Be firm and stick to your limits.
5. Say no more often
Say no to toxic people often.
Do they want your attention again to talk about themselves for hours?
Are you being asked again to put their life in order?
Are you supposed to be responsible for their misery again?
Does the person treat you in a disparaging manner again?
Say no to this and yes to yourself. Leave these situations more often now.
6. Put aside your guilty conscience and guilt
It may not seem obvious at first, but toxic people are very self-centered.
They want you in their life in order to achieve their goals.
They are not interested in you and your person.
Don’t feel guilty about turning away from them and gradually giving them less of your precious time.
No more guilty conscience! Bring the focus back to yourself and away from them.
7. Get support
Get emotional, but also factual support.
Arguing with toxic people is a drain of strength, especially when it comes to neighbors, family or colleagues.
Toxic people feel comfortable in their manipulation games, which are often associated with fear, stress and pressure. These mind games can even make those affected feel like they are totally wrong or out of their mind. Do not let them make you crazy.Find people who will listen to you, who will see you, who will remind you that you are perfectly fine.
“I will not allow anyone to walk in my mind with dirty feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Everyone has to deal with some toxic people every now and then.
We are good at recognizing toxic people – of course also because dealing with them can be so uncomfortable and difficult.
There are typical traits and behaviors that characterize toxic people.
Toxic people are schemers, gossipers, and rumors.
Difficult people often do not care whether they are allowed to do something or whether others think their behavior is right or wrong.
Toxic people are not interested in the opinions or feelings. Selfishness is almost an understatement for toxic people.
One toxic person is enough to turn the atmosphere into a disaster in a whole group.
It is important to take a clear position and to know your limits for deal with toxic people.
Don’t let yourself be provoked. Do not try to convince a toxic person of your opinion.
Take control of the situation instead of giving it away. Say no to toxic people often.
- How to deal with toxic people?
What are your experiences with toxic people? How do you deal with them? If you liked the article, leave us a comment and share your best tips.
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